Five Shooting Stars
by Sketchboy22
Summary: The first (and probably only) Toon Patrol in Equestria fic. After the events in the Acme Factory, our favorite weasels mysteriously regenerate in Equestria, how will the princesses deal with these newcomers? Better keep them away from Pinkie Pie, that's for sure...
1. Out of the job

"Out of the job"

X Canterlot X

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna walked through the dungeons, the guards greeting them, coming and going as they went

Two guards stepped aside and allowed them access to one of the cells

"How are we doing today?" Celestia asked

The creature got up, the cot squeaking as it did so

"Duh, hi princesses" the creature responded, the red beanie on its head slightly askew "Fine"

"That is good to hear, are you ready to continue with our session from yesterday?"

"Uh, sure"

"Now, from where dost thou hail?"  
"Huh?"  
"Pardon me, what I meant was, where do you come from?"  
"Oh! ToonTown"  
"And where would that be?"  
"Duh, I don't remember...Boss might know"  
"Yes, you've mentioned this 'boss' of yours several times, who might he be?"  
"His name is Smarty, princess"  
Luna quickly jotted something on her parchment  
"Thank you for your time, Stupid"  
"Does this mean I can go now?" He asked hopefully  
"No, I'm afraid not..."  
He slumped on the cot and sighed  
The sisters left the dungeons and went to their private chambers

"Sister, he is depressed, being in the cell for so long" Luna said  
"I agree, but, look what our tests have shown, he obviously is not a pony, or anything else we've seen"  
"I suppose you are right- and what of this 'boss' and co-workers?"  
"We have yet to see them in the rest of Equestria, I fear he may have come alone, but how? And why?"  
"I feel the worst is yet to come, Sister"

X Sweet Apple Acres X

"Please?"  
"I said 'no', kid"  
"But why not?"  
"'Cause your sister said that forest was dangerous"  
"But me and my friends go in there all the time"  
"And how often do you get into trouble?"  
"All the time..."  
"I rest my case"  
"-which is why you need to come with us!"  
He facepalmed  
"If I go will ya leave me alone for the rest of the week?"  
"Yes!"  
"*Sigh*, fine go get yer little friends and we'll go"  
The filly ran out of the barn and left the weasel to his own devices  
He took a gold pocket-watch out of one of the pockets in his pink suit, he popped it open, glanced at it, closed it, then placed it back in his pocket  
"This filly is gonna drive me nuts..." He grumbled

X Ponyville Library X

"I said HOLD STILL!" Twilight shouted, trying to catch the creature running around the library

The thing in the straight jacket only laughed psychotically and ran upstairs.

"Spike! Put those gems down and help me catch it!" Twilight shouted  
"Hoo" Owlyosuius said  
"You know who" Spike said  
"Hoo"  
"Him!" He shouted, pointing to the weasel  
"Hoo"  
"He- never mind, coming Twi!"  
Twilight came back down the stairs  
"Wonderful Spike, you caught him"  
"Huh? When?"  
Spike looked to the table and saw the weasel staring intently at his bowl of gems  
He picked one out and its swirling eyes followed it  
He threw the gem across the room and the brown thing pounced on it, Twilight quickly put up a containment spell around the creature and collapsed onto the floor.  
"Jeez...he's more energetic than Pinkie" Spike commented  
"Celestia forbid..." Twilight moaned  
"Hey Twi, was Clean-Cut in here earlier?"  
"I don't think he was...Why?" Twilight said, sitting up  
"'Cause this was laying under the table" Spike replied, holding up a silver object with a short wooden handle  
The creature spotted the razor and slammed itself against the barrier, making its attempts to get free "What? You want this?"  
Twilight said, grabbing the razor with her magic  
It nodded eagerly  
"Only if you promise to behave"  
The creature seemed to understand and Twilight dropped the barrier  
Twilight then gave the razor to the weasel and he nuzzled it- the way Twilight used to do with Smarty Pants.

X Carousel Boutique X

"How many times have I told you- if you're going to live here, you simply must stop playing with that dagger of yours" Rarity said  
"Forgive me, chica" The green-suited weasel said, pocketing his weapon  
"Now, tell me- how does this look?" She asked, pulling a suit off of her work-table  
"Such a work of art" He said  
Rarity blushed at the compliment and set the suit back on the table  
"I'm not finished with it yet- and it's only a copy of yours"  
"A wonderful suit none the less"  
"Bye Rarity! I'm going crusading with Applebloom and Scootaloo!"  
"As long as you're back before lunch, and stay away from that awful forest!" Rarity called  
"A cute nino, is she not?"  
"Yes, as much as I love her I just wish she'd stay out of trouble- they don't do it on purpose mind you, they just tend to get over-excited"  
The weasel only leaned back in his chair

X Fluttershy's cottage X

"Could you, um, please do one more?" Fluttershy asked  
The weasel in the dingy white shirt and black vest and tie took a long drag on one of his cigarettes and puffed out before answering  
"Alright, one more- but then I'm done for today"

The weasel took another long drag on his cigarette and puffed up his chest and blew, formless smoke poured out from his mouth and quickly formed itself into an almost perfect copy of Fluttershy  
She clapped her hooves in excitement, the copy doing the same before dissipating  
"And with that, I'm going to bed"  
"Before you do, would you, um, mind helping me feed my animals? If you want to that is..."

The weasel sighed and his shoulders slumped

"Sure, why not? Let's get it over with"

He and Fluttershy walked out the back door of the cottage and close to the forest border- with the two of them working, it took almost no time at all to refill the food bins  
Both of them were about to go back into the cottage when something just inside the forest caught the weasel's eye  
"Oh my, where are you going?" Fluttershy asked  
The weasel ignored her as he ran into the underbrush, the stems of some plant brushing against his legs as he ran

He tore some growth off the object and gasped  
"What's *huff huff* the matter?" Fluttershy asked running up next to him

"It's...It's our car..."


	2. Adjustments

"Adjustments"

"I still don't see what the big deal is with this forest..." Smart Ass grumbled as he and the three fillies walked through the Everfree

"Y'all really don't get out much do ya?" Applebloom asked

"I do too, I'm just busy with work"

"You're starting to sound like Twilight" Scootaloo said

"Is that supposed to be some sort of insult?"

The three remained silent, exchanging a glance with each other

"Anyway, aren't there wolves or bears out here?" the weasel asked, hopping over a tree root sticking out of the ground.

"Oh sure, Twilight says there's a lot of wildlife out here; Manticores, Timberwolves, Ursa Minors and Ursa Majors, Cockatrices..."

"So tell me again why we're out here?"  
"Exploring of course!" Sweetie said

"Wouldn't ya be content explorin' that other forest? Whitehoof or whatever?"

"It's Whitetail Woods, and we agreed to never go back there since that incident with the tree sap" Scootaloo shuddered  
"Right..." He said, reminding himself to ask later

The four continued through the forest, stopping occasionally for a short break

Smart Ass took out his pocket-watch and checked the time  
"Jeez, only a few hours?" He said, shoving the watch into his jacket  
"Why do y'all keep lookin' at that that gold thing?" Applebloom asked

"What? This?" He asked, pulling the watch out again  
He popped the lid and showed the fillies the watch-face they stared in wonder and awe at the golden object in the weasel's hand

"...It's a pocket-watch...why's that a big deal?"  
"Look at that! It's a clock you can carry around with you!" Scootaloo said, ignoring Smart Ass  
"Uh...right..."  
He put the watch back in his pocket once more and stood up, the three fillies doing the same

"We'd better get going if we wanna get home by nightfall"

The three nodded at the weasel and followed him

X

"It's nice to be out of that cell for a little while" Stupid said as he walked down the hall with Luna

"Yes, We always enjoy a constitutional through the castle" Luna replied  
"Duh, I thought we were takin' a walk"

Luna only giggled and the odd pair continued through the hallways ...

"Uh, princess?"  
"Yes?"  
"Why're all the ponies running away?"

Luna only sighed in response

"Long ago, We were once a being known a Nightmare Moon- wanting nothing more than to bring eternal night to Equestria"  
"So what happened?" He asked, taking interest in the nail driven through his bat

"A mare known as Twilight Sparkle and her friends, the Elements of Harmony, purged us of Our evil"  
"Wha?"  
"They saved Us from Ourselves"  
"Oh, so why do you talk like that? Is there more than one of you?"

"Pardon Us- me, We- well... I sometimes slip into using the 'Royal We'"  
"Why?"  
"I have only recently made my return; things have changed significantly since Our banishment a thousand years ago"  
"Wow, that's a really long time..."

"Yes...yes, it was"

"Where were you banished to?"

"The moon"

"Whoa, up there?" He asked, pointing to the sky

She nodded

"That's...pretty far..."  
"Come, let us partake of the midday meal"  
"Uh, okay"

Stupid and Luna walked until they were about to enter the dining room when...

*Crash*  
*OW*  
*Bang*  
*Ouch*  
*Boom*  
*Ugh...*

Stupid uncovered his eyes and saw that a window and several vases decorating the hall were broken, tracing the trail of destruction he heard something groan and stand up.

"**FROM WHERE HAST THOU COME TO INVADE OUR CASTLE, KNAVE**?" He flinched and turned to Luna and Stupid

"St-Stupid? Is that you?"

"Thank goodness we found ya, me and Flasher have been lookin' all over for ya"

"Where's Flasher?"  
"Huh?"

He looked around

"...Weird, he was here a second ago"  
"Where do you think he went?"  
"I got no clue"  
"Wouldst thou kindly explain who thine aquaintence is?"

"Princess, this is Slimy"

X

*Crack*  
*Boom*

"Ugh, Rainbow Dash..." Twilight grumbled, getting up from the table

'Just when I was learning more about Psycho, too'

In fact, that's about the only information she'd been able to get from him, other than the fact that she could calm him down with one of Spike's gems and that he absolutely insisted on wearing that straight-jacket of his; was his name

Twilight opened the door and saw a creature like Psycho with its head stuck in the ground

The creature tried to pull itself out of the ground, its neck stretching comically before coming loose with a loud *Pop*

"Jeez, think I had one too many last night..." He grumbled

"Excuse me, who are you?" Twilight asked

"Name's Flasher Miss, who might I ask are you?"

"I'm Twilight Sparkle"

"Ah, well uh, you haven't seen my buddies anywhere around here, have ya?"

"Please, come inside, I think we might have to talk about that" She said, letting him into the library

Psycho tackled Flasher as soon as he entered the library Flasher stood up and straightened his trench-coat

"Psych? What're you doing here?"

He only shrugged

"You know where the rest of the guys are?"

He rapidly shook his head

"Wait a minute, where's Slimy?"

Psycho shrugged again

"*Sigh*, we'll find him later I guess..."  
"Wait wait wait wait WAIT, there's more of you?" Twilight said, rounding on Psycho

Psycho nodded

"Why didn't you tell me that before?"  
"Didn't ask" Psycho said curtly

Twilight blushed and turned to Flasher

"So where's the rest of your friends? Somepony must've seen them"

"Somepony? You mean someone?"  
"No, I've never heard anypony use 'someone', we always say 'somepony'"  
'Anypony? Oh God...' Flasher groaned to himself

"Nevermind...C'mon Psycho, we gotta find the rest of the group"

Psycho nodded and prepared to follow Flasher out of the library when Twilight stopped them

"Wait a minute, you don't even know where they are, you can't just go out there unprepared"

"We'll just look around town, I'm sure they're around here somewhere"  
"But-"  
Flasher pulled Psycho out of the library without another word

"Spike, watch the library for a little while, I'll be back in a few hours"

X

Wheezy just stared at the black object just inside the forest, vines and overgrowth indicating it'd been there for months, maybe years

But it hadn't been that long...had it?

"Um, what's a car?" Fluttershy asked, snapping him out of his thoughts  
"Let's see, um..."  
What was he going to say? He never had to explain a car to someone before

"It's like a chariot..."  
She nodded  
"It um, moves under its own power"  
Fluttershy made and 'O' with her mouth and nodded

Wheezy walked closer to the car and pulled some plants out of the grill of the van

"Actually, doesn't look too bad..."

He walked to the driver's side door, opened it, and hopped into the seat

"You've gotta be kiddin' me"

He looked at the ignition and saw that the keys were already there; taking the keys out he put them in the pocket of his vest

Getting out of the car, he closed the door and walked around to the back of the van and opened the double doors.

"What the-"

He quickly silenced himself, seeing a small- something, pony was it? The small pony's eyes shot open and saw Wheezy

"O-O-h, I-I'm so-sorry, I di-didn't realize th-that I w-was tres-trespassing" She quivered

"Take it easy kid, just hop out and we can talk this over"  
She nervously got out of the van and wandered near Fluttershy  
Wheezy checked the back of the van once more before closing the doors

"Alright kid, what's your name?" Wheezy asked

"F-Fawn, mister"

"Miss Fluttershy, I think we should take her back to your cottage, maybe find her parents"

"Yes, that sounds like a plan" She turned to Fawn "I-if that's okay with you..."

"I, um, I think...I'd like that..."  
"Oh, uh, follow me then"

The weasel and the filly followed Fluttershy out of the forest and back to her cottage,

Wheezy turned to the van one last time and sighed

'The van is here, so where are the others?'

X

"Come on Psych, let's see if anyone in here's seen Greasy or Stupid" Flasher said, pushing the door open that led into the cupcake-shaped building

Psycho bounced through the door with Flasher following

"Wait! Don't go in there!" Twilight shouted  
"Why? What could be so bad about-"

"SUPRISE!"

Flasher fell backwards and saw a number of ponies gathered in the building

"What's all this?"

A pink pony with a picture of three balloons on her flank bounced out of the kitchen  
"It's your 'Welcome-to-Ponyville' Party! Cupcake?" She asked, pushing a platter of baked goods towards Flasher

"Ah, no thanks, we just came in to find some friends of ours"  
The pony's mane seemed to deflate and straightened, her smile disappearing completely

"Did I, uh, do something wrong?"  
"Hmmhmm" Psycho mumbled  
"Uh, miss, ya feelin' alright?"

"You don't like your party..."  
Psycho jabbed Flasher in the ribs  
"What-"

He grabbed a cupcake off the platter and swallowed the confection whole  
Psycho motioned Flasher to do the same

"Fine..."  
Flasher picked up a cupcake off the tray and bit into it, smiling at the pony as he did so

The pony's smile returned and her mane sprung back into place  
"Glad you like it!" She said as she bounced away

"Not even gonna ask..."  
"I see you've met Pinkie Pie" Twilight said, entering the bakery  
"Uh yeah..."  
"Wait a minute, where's Psycho?"

Her question was answered as the sound of laughter came from the kitchen of the bakery  
"What's he gotten himself into now?" Flasher grumbled

Twilight and Flasher walked to the kitchen and their jaws dropped at the sight before them

Pinkie Pie and Psycho were dancing around the kitchen, tossing pie batter into the ovens and putting frosting on a tray of cupcakes

'The smart thing to do would to just walk away, just walk away, just-'  
"Okay, I'll bite, what's going on here?"  
'Darn it'  
"Psychie's helping fill orders!"  
"Um, why?"  
"I asked him, silly"

Psycho hopped off the counter and stood next to Flasher  
"Oh yeah, you seen know where any of our friends are?" He asked

"Nope! You're not supposed to find out where they are until the next chapter!"

He just gave her a dumbfounded look

"What in the world are you talking about?" He finally asked

"What, nopony ever told you?"  
"Again, what are you talking about?"  
"Nevermind! Enjoy the party Flashy!"

Soon, Flasher, Twilight, and Psycho all found themselves on the doorstep to Sugarcube Corner

"You sure she ain't a Toon?"  
"A what?"  
Flasher face-palmed  
"Nevermind, c'mon Psych, we gotta find the others"

*RRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR*

Everypony within earshot cringed at the earshattering sound


	3. The gang's back together

"The gang's back together"

"I told you NOT to wander off!" Smart Ass yelled  
"You were hard to keep up with! We got lost!"

"Fine, maybe I was goin' a little fast- and just what is that?" He asked, pointing to the clearing

"It's a Manticore, now let's go!" Applebloom shouted as she and the other crusaders pushed him into what they thought was the forest exit

"I'll take care of it" he said, pulling his pistol out of his pocket

"That funny club ain't gonna help us! Move!"

Smart Ass mumbled something incoherent and shoved the gun back into his pocket

X

"What in the world was that?" Wheezy asked, uncovering his ears  
"Oh my...it sounded like a Manticore" Fluttershy said

"You mind watchin' her while I go check it out?" He asked, pointing to the filly  
"Um, I guess I can't stop you...if you really want to go- just be careful..."  
"I will, bye"

Wheezy left the cottage and took off into the forest

X

Greasy was just finishing mending a suit for Rarity when he saw a familiar shape run into the forest.

He quickly grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment and jotted down a note to the alabaster unicorn.

_Chica, something came up, be out for a few hours- suit's all mended_

_ -Greasy_

Setting the note where she could find it, Greasy ran out of the boutique and followed the form that ran in not a few minutes before

X

"Greasy? That you?" Flasher asked as a green blur ran past him, Psycho, and Twilight

"Who- or what- was that?" Twilight asked

"If I'm right, one of our friends" Flasher said "C'mon Psych"

He and Psycho ran after who they thought was Greasy

Twilight however, went off to round up each of her friends-

what ever was going on, they were going to get to the bottom of it.

X

"Alright, get behind me" Smart Ass said, ushering the three fillies behind him  
"Wh-what's gonna happen to us?" Sweetie Belle asked

He wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, the current situation was bleak- here they were trapped between a wall of solid rock and a Manticore

"I don't know kid"  
The three gulped and cowered behind the weasel

Smart Ass, not knowing what else to do, pulled out his gun

"Stay back, I don't wanna hurtcha" He said, pointing his pistol at the lion/bat/scorpion

The Manticore reared back and swiped at Smart Ass

Incidentally, he dropped his gun just as the lion swung at him, knocking his gun several feet away.

He tried to use his abilities to grab the gun, but his arm wouldn't stretch any farther than normal

'Powers still aren't workin', gotta think of something else'

Smart Ass used himself as a shield to protect the fillies (Cliche, isn't it?)

He waited for the attack

...it never came

Smart Ass looked up and saw Psycho standing on the Manticore's back, weilding an over-sized mallet; and stars circling the lion's head

"Psycho! You don't know how happy I am to see you!"

"Not the only one!" Psycho sing-songed

Wheezy came out of the bushes, followed by Greasy and Flasher.

"B-Boys? Where've ya been?"  
"Around..."  
"Right, but where's Slimy and Stupid?"  
"We still haven't figured that out...but let's get out of here before that thing wakes up" Wheezy said, pointing his Tommy Gun at the Manticore

A shout came from the bushes

"WAIT!"

"Fluttershy?" Wheezy turned and saw the yellow pegasus running towards them, followed by Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and a blue pegasus he'd never seen before

She ran up to him with big pleading eyes

"Please don't hurt him"  
"But-"  
"Please?"

The weasel sighed and turned away from the Manticore

"Let's just get out of this forest..."

(Several hours later)

"Tell me again why we're on a train goin' somewhere after we almost got turned into lunch?" Smart Ass asked

"Princess Celestia responded to my letter and told me to bring you"

"Rrrriiiggghhhtt"

The train stopped and the mares and weasels piled out of the car

"Alright, the castle's just up ahead, let's go" Twilight said, leading the group towards the castle  
They soon stopped however, as a platoon of guards halted them and escorted the group into the throne room.

"Greetings my little ponies" Celestia said  
"*Ahem*"  
Twilight shot a glare at Smart Ass

"...and weasels" Celestia said, seemingly unfazed  
"Wait a second, how do you know who we are?" Wheezy hacked  
"There are two more like you that landed here in Canterlot" Celestia replied "Though what manner of mischief they've gotten up to with my sister is a mystery"

Just as Celestia finished, the throne room doors swung open, revealing a white unicorn with a blonde mane, which was sopping wet

"Aunty Celestia! Those horrid monsters with Aunty Luna are absolutely dreadful!"  
'He's pompous and snide...I hate him already' Greasy thought to himself  
"Hush now nephew" Celestia said, hiding a faint smile "They're mearly having a little fun"  
The unicorn 'hmmph'd' and left the throne room  
"Just who the hay was that?" the blue pegasus asked  
"How could you not know darling, that was Prince Blueblood" Rarity said, eyes shimmering

"Quiet! Here comes another one" Slimy said as he, Stupid, and Luna sat on a balcony holding a water balloon

Slimy closed his eyes as he let the balloon drop, sailing towards the ground and soaking another unfortunate pony, followed by familiar laughter

"Stop that laughing!"

"B-Boss?"

Slimy and Stupid looked over the edge of the balcony and saw Smart Ass glaring at them

**A/N: And now you know where Luna gets her silly streak from XD. Anyway, the Patrol's finally all together again. Will they stay together? What will Celestia and Luna do now that they're found? Stay tuned and find out.**


	4. Pop goes the weasel(s)

"Pop goes the weasel(s)"

After all seven weasels were reunited, Celestia and Luna left them with the Elements in the dining room and briefly retired to their chambers

"It appears you are adjusting well, Sister" Celestia said, nuzzling Luna

Luna returned the gesture while blushing slightly  
"Yes, these...weasels have made Our return smoother"  
"It looked as if you were enjoying yourself"

"Twas quite enjoyable to drop a balloon of water on thy nephew" Luna giggled  
"Yes, but now that they are together- what will become of them?"  
"We thought thou hadst thy priorities in order"  
"I do Lulu, but it's still a matter of asking them..."  
"Art thou afraid they shall deny thine request? **We shall flay them soundly**!"

Celestia laughed at her sister's statement, then draped her wing over her  
"I'm afraid things don't work like that anymore Sister"

_Although..._

X

"Whaddaya thinks takin' 'em so long?" Smart Ass asked, drumming his fingers against the table  
"You can't just talk about the princesses like that!" Twilight cried  
"Just wonderin' where they were..." He grumbled

"So, uh, I don't think we've been properly introduced" Applejack said, trying to break the ice

"I'm Twilight Sparkle" Twilight said  
"My name's- Fluttershy"  
"I'm Rarity darlings"  
"Name's Applejack, sugarcube"  
"I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria!"  
"I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie, but everypony calls me Pinkie!"  
"Nice ta meet cha, I'm Smart Ass"  
"Greasy, chicas"  
"*Hack**Cough* Wheezy"  
"I'm Stupid"  
"Psycho, heeheehee"  
"Slimy"  
"Flasher"

The table fell into silence once more

"So- where're y'all from?"  
"Ah, ToonTown"  
"Where the hay is that?" Rainbow Dash asked  
"Near Los Angeles?"  
"I've never heard of anywhere by that name"  
"Right, right, keep forgetting we're someplace else now..."  
"So what'd ya do back in this other country a yours?"

"In case ya haven't noticed doll, we ain't from a different country, we're from a different world"

"A different world?! How is that possible?" Twilight sputtered  
"Beats the paint outta me"

"Oh, just think, travellers from another world" Rarity gushed

Meahwhile Twilight had started rambling  
"-doesn'tmakesensehowcouldyoubefromadifferentworld Ihavesomanyquestionswhydidn'tIthinkofthis beforeI-"

Psycho grabbed Stupid's bat and prepared to whack Twilight over the head with it, Smart Ass quickly held back the other end of the bat- causing Psycho to look back, he let go of his end of the bat, letting Psycho bash himself over the head. Stars circled Psycho's head as he dropped the bat and the other six weasels (plus Pinkie) started giggling, and finally formed into all-out laughter.

The weasels abruptly stopped as Princess Celestia and Luna entered the dining room

Smart Ass was about to speak when he saw Luna take a deep breath  
"**HOW ART THOU? WE ARE PLEASED TO MEET THEE AND THY AQUAINTENCES**"  
"What in the world was THAT?" Flasher asked, sitting up  
Stupid and Greasy uncovered their ears

"What?"  
"I said 'What was that?'"  
"WHAT?"  
"I said- nevermind"  
"WHAT?"  
Everypony seated at the table save for Celestia turned to look at Luna, whose muzzle had turned a deep shade of red

"Pardon us, We still use the Royal Canterlot Voice when speaking to Our subjects..."  
"Duh, that's alright Princess" Stupid said "Smarty's got a speech problem too"  
For her part, Twilight looked absolutely mortified that somepony would talk to one of the princesses like that, especially Princess Luna.

"'Tis not a speech impediment, We are merely used to speaking this way"  
"Oh"  
"If that is settled, let us enjoy the evening meal"

(Several minutes later)

"What? All I asked was 'Do you have any steak?'" Slimy said, shrinking under the shocked looks of all the ponies gathered at the table  
"Slimy you moron, they're ponies- they don't eat meat" Smart Ass face-palmed  
"Oh, gotcha- so salad then?"  
"..."

X

"Thank you princesses, dinner was good" Stupid said, patting his belly  
"You're quite welcome, I'll be sure to tell Cuisine his dishes earned a good rating" Celestia smiled "But as for now, I think all of you had better get to sleep while I lower the sun"  
"What the- never mind...I'll ask later" Smart Ass mumbled, walking off to his room

"That reminds me, where's that foal we found earlier?" Wheezy asked  
"Oh, um, I couldn't just leave her there, so I-um, brought her with me...she's in your room"  
Wheezy rubbed his temples  
"Okay, but just for tonight..." he coughed, closing the door to his room

The rest of the weasels and the six mares departed to their respective rooms.

(Wheezy's room)

"Alright kid, here's the plan- no jumpin' on the bed and we don't got a problem, capiche?"  
She silently nodded and he laid down on the mattress

The filly hopped up onto the bed and positioned herself next to him

Wheezy cracked one eye open and saw that the filly was shivering  
_Oh for cryin' out loud..._

He took off one of the blankets covering the large bed and haphazardly tucked her in

"Thank you Mr. Wheezy" She whispered "You're awfully nice"

_Not with all we've done, kiddo, not with all we've done _He thought to himself, laying back down

Wheezy and the filly dozed off as Luna's moon began to rise

(Rarity and Fluttershy's room)

"-so what do you think of him? He's such a gentlecolt, but I'm not quite sure if it would work out..." Fluttershy asked, sitting on one of the beds

"Don't fret Fluttershy, I'm sure the time will come and you'll be able to admit your feelings for him" Rarity replied, brushing her mane

"I-I don't th-think I have f-f-feelings for him, he's just- oh it's so hard to explain..."  
"Love can be a fickle thing"

_Though I can't say I approve of that smoking habit of his _Rarity thought to herself

Fluttershy just covered her eyes with her hooves and hid behind her mane 


	5. Just a little somethin' to forget me by

Just a little somethin' to forget me by

_"We searched Valiant Boss. The will ain't on him" Smart Ass said._

_"Then frisk the woman!" The ominous voice of Judge Doom shouted_

_"I'll handle this one..." Greasy said, rolling up his sleeve and reaching his hand down the front of Jessica's dress_

_*SNAP*_

_Greasy removed his hand and shouted as he tried to pry the mantrap off of him_

_"Nice booby trap" Eddie said_

_Judge Doom smacked Greasy, sending him sailing into a stack of boxes containing fake eyes- which went spilling all over the floor._

_"Do they have the Will or not?"_  
_"Nah. Just this this stupid love letter" Smart Ass replied, waving the piece of paper_  
_"No matter. I doubt if the will is going to show up in the next fifteen minutes anyway"_  
_"What happens in the next fifteen minutes?"_  
_"ToonTown will be legally mine. Lock, stock, and barrel_

X

_"It's over Mr. Valiant" Doom said, while walking away_

_He slipped on the fake eyes on the floor, making the weasels laugh- Eddie took his chance to grab Smart Ass_

_"Look out! You fool!" Doom shouted, covering his left eye_  
_"Not so fast" Smart Ass said, pointing the gun at Eddie in time to stop him_

_"One of these days, you idiots are going to laugh yourselves to death!" Doom said_

_Eddie came to a sudden realization_

_"Shall I repose of him right now Boss?"_  
_"Let him watch his Toon friends get dipped, then shoot him" Doom said, before leaving the warehouse_  
_"With pleasure"_

(Watch this while you read  
watch?v=c8iyYjvNgmo)

_"Everything's funny to you, ain't it needle nose?"_  
_"You got a problem with that Valiant?"_  
_"Nah. I just er, want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip!" Eddie said, starting the music machine sitting nearby._  
_"Whhhaaaaaa?" Smart Ass said, backing away_  
_The other weasels looked on in confusion as to what Valiant was doing_  
_"Now Roger is his name, and laughter is his game. Come on you dope, untie his rope and watch him go insane"_

_"He's lost his mind" Jessica said_  
_"I don't think so..." Roger replied_

_"This singin' ain't my line, it's tough to make a rhyme, if I get stuck- I'm- I'm outta luck and, and..."_

_"...and I'm running out of time!" Jessica finished_

_"Thanks!"_

_Eddie threw some bombs into the air, each one hitting him on the head after coming back down_  
_Dizzy, he stumbled backwards and slipped on a banana peel and fell backwards into several stacks of boxes, he came out, bouncing on a pogo stick just as Stupid laughed and hit himself over the head with his bat - after going a little too high, he hit an overhanging light- electrocuting him in the process._

_Stupid was laughing so hard he fell of the ladder of the Dip machine and onto the floor- then went stiff as a board, his ghost flying out of his body with a pair of wings and a harp._  
_Wheezy was laughing too, and seeing his own ghost try to leave his body- tried to pull it back in, he did so with little success as the ladder he was on steadily went higher, while still trying to contain his ghost- it finally got free, leaving Wheezy to fall back to the floor with the ladder in the opposite direction._

_"Hey Eddie! Keep it up! You're killing 'em! You're slaying 'em! You're knocking 'em dead!"_

_A lever was switched during Eddie's 'performance', causing a conveyor belt with a vase to move over his head_

_"I'm through with taking falls, I'm bouncing off the walls, without that gun- I'd have some fun, I'd kick you in the..."_  
_Eddie was interrupted as the aforementioned vase broke over his head._

_"Nose!" Roger shouted_  
_"Nose? That don't rhyme with walls_

_"No! But this does" Eddie said, getting up_  
_He gave Smart Ass a swift kick between the legs, forcing him to fly across the room and land in the vat of sizzling Dip_  
_"Aaaagggggghhhhh!"_

X

"Aaaagggggghhhhh!"

Smart Ass woke with a start and looked around the room, his sweat-drenched shirt clinging to his body

"Just a dream..." He muttered  
But it was more than that, it wasn't a dream- or a nightmare- but a memory, though to him it was more like a nightmare than anything else

He looked to his jacket and hat resting on the floor a few feet away, he opened the doors to the balcony and decided it was warm enough to leave them.

As he admired the skyline against the night sky, he pulled out a cigar, lit it, and started puffing on it  
"What am I gonna do?" he wondered to himself

"What is troubling thou?"

Smart Ass nearly jumped out of his fur when Princess Luna approached him  
"Nothin' Princess, just thinkin' about a few things"  
"What might that be?"

Smart Ass just sighed, he wanted to just scream at her- he didn't know why...but he knew yelling at the diarch would probably get him dipped.

"You know what? Just forget I said anything...I'm goin' back to bed Princess"  
_Probably get a lecture from that Twilight mare in the morning  
_  
He was just about head back into his room when Luna spoke

"We have seen thy dreams"

Smart Ass stopped cold and turned back to the Princess of the Night  
"...How much do you know?"  
"Only what you have shown Us"

He sighed and went back to the railing with Luna

"This is all like a dream, ya know- any moment now I'm expecting to wake up on the floor of the Acme Factory"  
"Is this in your world?"  
"Yeah, anyway- I know we won't, because- because-"

Smart Ass stopped, it felt like he might actually _cry_. Where was all of this coming from?

"We, we laughed ourselves to death..."  
Luna only laughed  
"Such a thing isn't possible"

"WHY DON'T YOU GO TELL THAT TO THE OTHERS?!" Smart Ass yelled "THEY WERE LUCKY, THEY DIED LAUGHING- I GOT **_DIPPED_**!"

The smile disappeared from Luna's face as he shouted at her  
Smart Ass stopped himself before he got any angrier

"I'm goin' back to bed, I'll see ya in the morning I guess..." he muttered, closing the door to the balcony once he was back inside.

_I'm gonna get a talk from her sister about that tomorrow... _Smart Ass thought to himself, tossing and turning- trying to get to sleep

Meanwhile Luna continued to watch him from outside the glass doors, she lost herself in thought for a moment before turning and flying back to her own chambers

X

"Good morning Wheezy, good morning Fawn" Twilight said, seeing the pegasus filly and the blue weasel, the latter of which was slipping on his vest

"Morning Miss Twilight" Fawn said happily  
Wheezy only replied with a grunt

"Did you two sleep well last night?"  
"Yep! The beds were real comfortable"  
Wheezy nodded to second her statement

"You're not much of a morning pony, are you?"  
"What gave you that idea?" Wheezy asked, rubbing the sand out of his eyes  
"Just a hunch"  
Twilight, Wheezy, and Fawn all headed down the hallways and towards the throne room

"So what's the plan for today?"  
"Actually, I think the princesses were planning to let us all go back home..." Twilight trailed off

_Wonderful, I can finally see what's up with our car_ Wheezy thought to himself

And so, after a brief meeting with the princesses, the Elements, Fawn, and the weasels were soon on a train heading back to Ponyville.

"Woulda been faster if we used Toonspeed" Slimy pouted, leaning against one of the walls of the passenger car  
"Y'all better sit down and put your seatbelt on, Sugarcube" Applejack said "The train's supposed ta stop soon"

"Eh, those things cost more lives than they save"

Just as he finished his sentence, the train came to a screeching halt and sent Slimy flying through a window

"Really? He used that reference?" Pinkie said  
"Again, what are you talking about?" Flasher asked  
Pinkie only smiled and hopped out of the passenger car

"We'd better go see if he's alright..." Applejack sighed, following the bouncing ball of pink off the train.

**A/N: Looks like Smarty lost his head there- what's coming up? You'll have to find out, it's always a pleasure to get your reviews. If you read my other story, leave a review or send me a P.M.- your thoughts are what I want to hear!**  
**As always, it's wonderful writing for you all -until the next chapter!**


	6. No Laughing Matter

"No Laughing Matter"

The rest of the group soon found Slimy face-down in a small crater.

"Oh my goodness, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked  
Slimy got up and shook the dirt off of himself  
"Eh, I'm fine-"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders came bounding up to Slimy  
"What was that?"  
"Can you do it again?"  
"Can we try?"  
"How'd ya do it?"  
"Do you have your cutie mark yet?"

A very confused Slimy was carried off by the three fillies, all asking questions simultaneously

"Well that happened..." Flasher remarked  
"Boss, I'm gonna go make sure the van is all ready" Wheezy said, wandering around the back of Fluttershy's house  
"Ready for what?" Twilight asked, turning to Smart Ass  
"We decided to set up shop right here in town"  
"What is it you'll be doing exactly?"  
"Instigative services, that sort a stuff"  
"You mean 'investigative'- so you're like a detective?"  
"More like police"  
"What?"  
"You don't have police here?"  
"No, most towns only have the Town Guard"  
_That explains an awful heckuva lot _Smart Ass thought to himself  
"Well, see ya later- got business to attend to"  
The group went their separate ways to complete the day's activities

X

"What does this piece do Mr. Wheezy?" Fawn asked, poking her head into the open hood of the van  
"That's the engine kid, it makes the car move"  
"So it's like a cart?"  
"Yeah, I guess..."

Wheezy rummaged through his tool box and pulled out a screwdriver, then set to making adjustments on the engine  
After he was finished, he closed the hood and found Fawn looking at him curiously

"Don't you want ta go hang out with someone your own age?" He asked  
"I could...but I like being around you"  
"Why?"  
The filly only shrugged and went back into Fluttershy's cottage

If Wheezy could be honest, the filly was growing on him too

He quickly checked to make sure the van was locked, then followed the filly

"Looks like Fluttershy's out right now- want some lunch?" He asked, pulling two plates out of the cupboard  
"Mm-hmm"  
"What would ya like?"  
"Um, do you have any dandelions?"  
"What would you use dandelions for?"  
"A sandwhich?"  
"Oh, right"  
He opened a bag of flowers and pulled out a handful- he put the flowers between two slices of bread and set it on the table for Fawn.  
Deciding not to try the flowers, Wheezy sat down at the table and watched Fawn eat  
"What?"  
"Do you always watch somepony eat their lunch?"  
The statement actually made Wheezy blush, he turned away to look out the window

"You know what I can't get over?" He asked  
"What?"  
"How nice it is here"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean- just look around, there's no trouble anywhere, no-one seems to have a care in the world- everyone is just so- so happy"  
"Na, I'm sure they've got their fair share of problems" Fawn reassured  
"Thanks kid" He said, ruffling her unkept mane

(Later that day- Sugarcube Corner)

Pinkie Pie happily bounced around the kitchen, filling orders and helping the Cakes

"I know what you're thinking Mrs. Cake, you and Mr. Cake should take a break for a few days"  
_Or weeks  
_"Pinkie dear, I know you want what's best for us- but we can't just _leave_, we have a business to run- foals to care for"  
Mrs. Cake said, trying to match Pinkie's speed running around the kitchen  
"No need to worry about that! I run the bakery by myself sometimes- and Psychie and I are here to watch Pumpkin and Pound"

Mrs. Cake shifted her eyes to the weasel in question, who at the moment was bashing himself over the head with an oversized hammer to amuse Pumpkin and Pound.

To be honest, she didn't know what to make of him- for all intents and purposes, he looked like a psychotic mental patient, yet here he was, playing with two foals of all things.

"Pinkie-"  
"You and Mr. Cake really need a break. Hey! That rhymed!"  
"Pinkie-"  
Mrs. Cake chose her next words carefully  
"-it's not that I don't trust you-"  
"Then what is it?"  
"Well...I don't trust him" She said, motioning to Psycho  
"But he's really nice!"

Her conviction wavered as the weasel was now in a staring contest with the twins, his face close to theirs- Pumpkin booped him on the nose, while Pound was content watching his swirling yellow-and-white eyes speed up and slow down.

"...I'll give him one chance..." Mrs. Cake finally said  
Pinkie squealed with glee  
"But only one"  
"You got it Mrs. Cake! He'll be the bestest asisstant's-asisstant ever!"

Mrs. Cake sighed to herself and went upstairs to help her husband finish packing.

X

(Hours later)

"Hey, where'd everyone go?" Flasher asked as he and Stupid stood in the now empty street  
"Duh, maybe they all went on vacation" Stupid replied  
Flasher cuffed him upside the head  
"Ow, hey- there's Spike and- and-"  
"Twilight" Flasher finished  
Stupid looked skyward  
"Nope, still daytime"

Flasher face-palmed

"Hey Twilight, hey Spike"  
"Hello Flasher, Stupid"  
"Hey"  
"Where did everypony go?" Twilight asked  
"That's what we were wonderin' ourselves"

The four were just about to pass Sugarcube corner when they were pulled into the bakery  
"Getinherebeforeshegetsyou!"

"Why's it so dark in here?"  
"It's not another party is it?"

A bright light appeared and the four flinched

"Wh-who? The z-zombie pony?" Spike asked  
"Z-zombie pony?" Pinkie repeated  
Spike shook and clung to Twilight  
"Spike, there are no zombie ponies" Twilight said

Spike let go and hopped off of her

"Pinkie, what are you doing here alone in the dark?" Twilight asked  
"I'm not alone in the dark" Pinkie said

The lights brightened a little and Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applebloom were in the bakery as well

"Okay then, what are you all doing here in the dark?"  
"That's what I want to know" Flasher mumbled

"We're hidin' from her" Applejack said, pointing out the window

The group huddled around the window and saw a hooded figure pawing at the dirt with a hoof  
After a short while, the figure turned- revealing a glowing pair of yellow eyes underneath

The rest of the group hid, save for Flasher and Twilight, who continued to look out the window

"Didja see her Twilight? Didja see...Zecora?" Applebloom asked  
"Applebloom- I told ya never ta say that name" Applejack said  
"Well, I saw her glance this way-"

"Glance EVILLY this way" Pinkie said, poking Twilight with her forehoof  
"-and then a bunch of you flip out for no good reason"

"No good reason? Ya call protectin' your kin 'no good reason'?" Applejack asked, placing a forehoof over Applebloom  
"Why as soon as my sister saw Zecora ridin' into town, she started shakin' in her little horseshoes"

"D-d-d-d-id n-n-o-t" Applebloom said as she was shaken back and forth  
"So I swept her up and brought her here"  
"I walked here myself" Applebloom argued  
"For saftey"  
"Applejaaacck, I'm not a baby, I can take care of myself"

"Not from that creepy Zecora"

"She's mysterious" Fluttershy said  
"Sinister" Rainbow said, hovering above them  
"-and spoooooky"

Twilight rolled her eyes and stared back out the window

The figure pulled its hood down, with his/her back to the bakery- a light gray coat with a black-and-white mohawk and large golden rings hanging from their ears

*Gasp!*  
"Will you cut that out?" Twilight said, annoyed

"Just look at those stripes" Rarity said "So garish"  
"She's a zebra" Twilight said

"A what?"  
"A zebra- and her stripes aren't a fashion choice Rarity, they were what she was born with"  
Rarity put a hoof to her forehead and dramatically fell backwards  
"Born where? I never seen a pony like that in these parts- 'cept her" Applejack said  
"Well she probably ain't from here then, is she" Flasher said  
"-and she's not a pony" Twilight interjected "My books say zebras come from a faraway land- but I've never seen one in Ponyville"

Nopony noticed Spike sneak out of the room

"Where does she live?"  
"That's just it, she lives in the- Everfree forest"

*Crash*  
*Bang*  
*Crash*

"Spike!"  
"Sorry..." Spike said, holding a cupcake in one claw

"The Everfree forest just ain't natural" Applejack said "The plants grow-"  
"-animals care for themselves-" Fluttershy added  
"-and the clouds move-" Rainbow said  
"-ALL ON THEIR OWN"

Rarity fainted once more

"And that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil- stuff!" Pinkie said "She's so evil- I even wrote a song about her"

Flasher and Rainbow groaned as Pinkie started her song

"Wow, catchy" Twilight said once Pinkie finished  
"It's a work in progress" Pinkie smiled  
"This is all just alot of gossip and rumors" Twilight concluded  
"I'm with ya on that" Flasher said  
"Now tell me- what exactly have you seen Zecora do?"  
"Well- once a month, she comes into Ponyville" Rainbow said  
"Ooh" Twilight said, feining suprise  
"Then, she lurks by the stores" Rarity said  
"Oh my" Flasher said sarcastically  
"-and then...she digs at the ground" Fluttershy said  
"Good gracious" Twilight said with mock-horror "Okay, I'm sorry- but how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit"

"Yeah, maybe she's just tryin' to be neighborly" Applebloom said  
"And maybe she's not lurking by the stores- maybe she's going to them, lurk-free, to do some shopping?"  
"Yeah, everypony likes to shop, you know what I think-"  
"Applebloom! Hush and let the big ponies talk" Applejack said, shooing Applebloom away  
"I am a big pony" She muttered

"What about digging at the ground? You've gotta admit- that's weird" Rainbow said  
"What if she's digging for innoccent creatures?"  
"I'm sure there's an explanation for everything Zecora does- and if anypony here were actually brave enough to approach her, she would find out the truth" Twilight said

"Well I'm brave enough- I'm gonna find out myself" Applebloom said, walking out of the bakery

X

Applebloom watched Zecora from the street, hiding whenever she might catch sight of her

"You ponies are being rediculous!" Twilight said  
"Well I heard Zecora eats hay" Pinkie said  
"Pinkie- I eat hay- you eat hay"  
"Yeah, but I heard it's the eeevil way she eats hay"  
Flasher rolled his eyes  
"Hey! Where's Applebloom?" Applejack asked  
"The door's open" Fluttershy replied  
"She went outside?!" Rarity cried  
"And Zecora's still out there" Rainbow said  
"That silly little filly, I told her to stay put" Applejack said  
The group rushed out of the bakery, save for Stupid, Flasher, Twilight, and Spike  
"Spike- you stay here in case Applebloom comes back" Twilight said  
"Will do" Spike saluted, wearing a pot on his head

X

Applebloom hesitantly trotted after Zecora- remaining just outside the forest border  
She gulped, then steeled herself- running into the Everfree

"Applebloom?!" Came Applejack's voice  
Zecora turned her head and noticed Applebloom

"You get back here right now!"  
Applebloom noticed that Applejack and her five friends- plus the seven weasels standing in a patch of blue flowers

"Beware! Beware you pony-folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!" Zecora boomed, shrinking into the mist

"Y-you keep your creepy mumbo-jumbo to yourself, ya hear?" Applejack said, picking up Applebloom  
Four of the ponies and some of the weasels were shouting to the mist, while Flasher, Twilight, and Fluttershy remained silent  
"Oh brother..." Twilight moaned

"Beware! Beware!"

"Yeah! Back at ya Zecora!" Rainbow heckled "You and your lame curse are the ones who better beware!"

Applebloom shot a glare at Rainbow while Applejack chewed her out  
"And you- why couldn't you just listen to your big sister?"  
"I-I- "  
"Who knows what kinda nasty curse Zecora coulda just put on you"  
"Just like in my song!" Pinkie exclaimed  
"Song?" Smart Ass questioned  
"Tell ya later boss..."  
"You guys, there's no such things as curses!" Twilight said  
"Listen ta her" Flasher said  
"Well that's interesting to hear- coming from Miss Magic-Pants herself" Rainbow said  
"My magic- real magic- comes from within, it's a skill you're born with; curses are artificial, fake magic, it's conjured with potions and incantations"  
Rainbow wasn't listening as she flew a short ways away  
"It's all smoke and mirrors meant to scare- but curses have no real power; they're just an old pony tale"

"A pony tale?" Stupid asked  
"That's right- why?"  
Six of the weasels burst into laughter  
"Stop that laughing!" Smart Ass shouted

The four other mares were already out of the field, followed by all seven weasels  
"Just you wait Twilight- some pony tales really are true" Applejack said, walking out  
Twilight looked around before leaving herself

X

That night, Twilight tossed and turned in her bed- Pinkie's 'wicked enchantress' song running through her head

X

"Cock-a-doodle-doo!"  
Twilight groaned  
"What a dream...Curses-shmurses"

She got up and went to her mirror  
"Whoa, maybe Zecora cursed my hair" Twilight laughed to herself

Twilight brushed her mane and gasped

Her horn jiggled from her forehead, covered in blue spots.

"Or she cursed my horn"

"No no no no NO! None of these books have a cure! Ugh, there has to be a real reason for this" Twilight said, poking at her floppy horn "An illness? An allergy?"

"A curse" Spike said, leafing through a book  
"I said a real reason- something that points to something real"  
"How about this one?" He asked holding up a book with a green cover  
"Supernaturals? Spike, the word 'supernatural' refers to things like ghosts and spirits and zombies- which are as make believe as curses" She said "This book is just a bunch of hooey"  
"But what if you're wrong Twilight? What if this a-"

Spike was interupted as Pinkie and an earth pony stallion charged into the library, Pinkie's swollen orange-and-blue tongue blocked most of her mouth, only able to communicate through a series of garbled noises. The stallion in the white jacket however, looked totally unharmed

"A purse? How could it be a purse?" Spike asked  
"Pinkie? What happened?" Twilight asked  
"Tthe ptut ba curthe on bthe- Tthe ptut ba curthe on bthe"  
"Say it, don't spray it Pinkie" Spike said, wiping himself off  
"Wait a minute- who are you?"  
"Heth Psthycho!"  
"What?"  
The stallion grinned, showing pointed and crooked teeth

"She's..."  
*Thump*  
"...trying to say..."  
*Thump*  
*Crash*

Rainbow Dash came crashing through the front door- hurdling into a bookshelf  
"...curse"

"I'm afraid I have to agree" Rarity said, trotting into the library with a dark-brown earth pony stallion dressed in a green suit and hat  
Rarity's coat hung in long, curled strands- shaking at the slightest movements

"I hate to say ah told ya Twilight- but I told ya so!" A tiny Applejack squeaked from her position on a normal-sized Applebloom "It's the curse I tells ya!"

The weasels soon joined the rest of the group in the library, their ailments varying

"But- Fluttershy seems just fine" Twilight said  
"Yes, there doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with her" The dust-mop said  
"Fluttershy? Are you okay?"  
She turned away  
"Is there something wrong with you?"  
She silently nodded  
"Would you care to tell us?"  
She shrank away  
"So you're not going to tell us?"  
She nodded  
"Yes you're not? Or yes you will?"  
Applejack ran across a desk  
"Good gravy girl, what's wrong with you?"  
"**I don't want to talk about it...**"

Spike sputtered and he and the weasels burst into fits of laughter  
"This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We've got 'Harity', 'Rainbow Crash', 'Spittie Pie', 'Appleteeny', 'Flutterguy', and-" Spike stopped "Eh, I got nothing- Twilight Sparkle, I mean seriously- I can't even work with that"  
"Stop that laughing!"

All the weasels stopped, not because Smart Ass said it- like he usually did- it was _Wheezy  
_Spike stopped too, after recieving glares  
Everypony turned to Wheezy, and he felt his cheeks grow hot  
"Wh-what are you starin' at?"

"Ha Ha Ha. This is no joke Spike, now start looking for more books so I can find a cure"

Spike groaned and set to his task

"I think we'll find the cure for this curse at Zecora's place" Rainbow said, crashing into another bookshelf  
"It's not a curse!" Twilight said  
"I agree with Dash" Applejack said "We'll go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex!"  
"It's not a hex either!" Twilight and Flasher shouted

As the six mares and seven weasels-turned-ponies argued, Applebloom mused to herself

"This is all my fault, if I hadn't followed Zecora in the first place, none of this woulda happened" Applebloom started to trot out of the library "I just gotta fix this"

"Now just where does she think she's goin' this time?" Applejack asked herself, seeing Applebloom exit the library  
She jumped into Applebloom's tail as the filly walked off

"I don't care what you say Twilight! It's time to pony-up and confront Zecora" Rainbow said "C'mon girls! Are you with me?"  
"I thtam" Pinkie said  
"And I as well" Rarity said  
"**I don't know...seems awfully dangerous**" Fluttershy said, sending Spike and the stallions into a fit of giggles  
"How about you Applejack? Applejack?"  
"The's gtone"  
"Or somepony stepped on her!" Rarity screamed  
Everypony quickly checked their hooves- nothing  
"Applebloom is gone too" Twilight said, after doing a check around the library  
"I bet they went after Zecora" Rainbow said  
"We'll we'd better go find them- come on girls, let's go" Twilight said, leading them out of the library  
"Oh dear..." Rarity said, trying to move forward

She was oblivious to the fact that Pinkie was standing on one of her coat strands  
Rainbow crashed into the wall of the library, leaving Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Spike in the library

"**Uhh, Spike? Are you coming?**"  
"Nope...ehhh, gotta stay here and look for a cure"

X

Applebloom ran through the entrance to the forest, charging in more confidently than before

"Stop right there"  
Applebloom stopped to find the source of the voice, she looked up and saw a tiny Applejack pop out of her mane  
"You turn around right now, missy"  
Applebloom smirked to herself  
"No"  
"No? You can't ignore a direct order from your big sister"  
Applebloom tossed her up and set her on a nearby branch

"Sorry Applejack, but I'm the big sister now" Applebloom giggled  
"Applebloom, you come back here right this instant!" Applejack shouted

"I'm gonna tell Big MacIntosh on you!" She shouted childishly

"Oh ponyfeathers..."

X

Twilight and the group ran into the forest, much the same way Applebloom did  
"Come on girls, we've got to get to Zecora's!" Twilight said, leading "Hurry!"  
Rarity tripped and skidded  
Greasy helped her up and they continued running  
"Easier said than done"  
"Wait for me!" Rainbow said, crashing into a bush- and then a tree  
Rainbow groaned as Applejack comically popped out of her mouth  
"Rainbow! Thanks for the rescue- there's no time to lose"  
Applejack hopped on Rainbow's back and urged her forward  
"Giddy up pony!"  
"Excuse me?"  
Applejack gave a sharp kick and Rainbow zig-zagged across the sky- going this way and that  
"No Rainbow Dash, the other way!"

X

"Oh my- I look horrible!" Rarity said  
"Tthith plathe lookthe horrible" Pinkie said, lifting Rarity's curls  
"Oh my, that place really does look horrible"

They peeked into the hut, seeing tiki masks and pouches hanging from the ceiling, among other things

"Nice decorations, if you like creepy"

Zecora herself walked into the hut, the group outside ducking out of sight  
She poured something into a bubbling pot, then started chanting

"Tthet plathing a curthe! Thet plathing a curthe!" Pinkie said, pointing into the hut  
"She stole your song?" Rarity asked  
Flasher and Wheezy snorted  
"Pinkie- it doesn't sound anything like your song" Twilight said

Pinkie looked at Fluttershy with puppy-eyes  
Fluttershy sighed and sung Pinkie's 'enchantress' song  
"Oh jeez, not again" Smart Ass face-hoofed

"You saw those terrible things, now do you believe us Twilight?" Rarity asked  
"Scary looking masks, confusing incantations, and a great big bubbling couldron? Everything is pointing to Zecora being bad" Twilight admitted "Or- maybe she's just making soup"

"Hmm, the perfect temperature for ponies I presume- now, where is that little Applebloom?"  
"Or- what if she's making Applebloom soup?"

Their screames were interupted by Rainbow sailing into view  
"I'm comin' for ya Applebloom!" Applejack cried  
They burst into the hut, suprising Zecora

"What have you done with Applebloom?" Twilight asked as she and the others piled into the hut  
Applejack lassoed Zecora's ear, then proceeded to wrestle with it

"Ponies, what is this you-"  
Zecora was cut off as Rainbow knocked over the couldron of bubbling green liquid  
"Ah! Get back! It's DIP!" Stupid shouted, backing out of the hut

"You know not what you do, you've gone and spilled my precious brew"  
"We're on to you, Zecora- I didn't want to believe that you cursed us, but the evidence is overwhelming"  
"You made me look rediculous" Rarity said  
"**You made me sound rediculous**" Fluttershy said  
Pinkie said something garbled  
"You ruined my horn"  
"How dare you, you destroy my home, destroy my work, and you rudely accuse me of being a jerk?"  
"You put this curse on us, now you're gonna uncurse us"  
"It is unwise to venture down this road, your actions will make my anger explode"  
"Where is Applebloom?" Twilight said, locking heads with Zecora

"Zecora, I think I found all of the things you asked for" Applebloom said, walking into the hut "What in Ponyville is goin' on in here?"  
"Applebloom! You're okay!"  
"Why wouldn't I be?"  
"Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us, and was going to cook you up into soup" Twilight said  
There was a pause before Applebloom and Zecora laughed  
"Oh Twilight, did those silly fillies finally get in your head? You know there's no such thing as a curse"  
"Applebloom, sweetie, you can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse"  
"This isn't a curse"  
"If you will remember back, the words I spoke were quiet exact"

They all thought back to Zecora's words

"It was a warnin', about that blue plant- it's called Poison Joke"  
"That plant is much like Poison Oak, but its results are like a joke"  
"What in the hay does that mean?" Applejack asked from atop Zecora  
"It means this plant breed wrath, instead this plant wants a laugh"  
"Will somepony please talk normal?"

"I think what she's saying is that when we ran in to save Applebloom, we ran into the Poison Joke- all our problems are just a little joke the plants played on us"  
"Little jokes? Very funny"  
"Okay fine, but what about the couldron?" Rainbow asked  
"And the chanting?"  
"And the creepy decor"  
"Treasures of the native land where I am from, this one speaks hello, and this one speaks welcome"  
"Not welcomed at all, if you ask me" Rarity said  
"The words I chanted were from olden times, something you call nursery rhymes"  
"But- the couldron, the Applebloom soup?"  
"Looky here Twilight, that pot of water wasn't for me, it was for all these herbal ingredients- the cure for Poison Joke is a simple old natural remedy, ya just gotta take a bubble bath"  
"But I tried to find a cure in my old books, but couldn't find anything- what book has this natural remedy?"  
"Here is the book you see, sad that you lack it in your library"  
"Actually, I do have this book, but I didn't look inside because the title was so...weird"  
"Supernaturals" Twilight read "Natural cures that are simply- super"  
"I- I- I'm so sorry Zecora, I had the answer the whole time if only I'd bothered to look inside..."  
"Maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book"

"Zecora? Would you be kind enough to mix up another batch of the herbal bath?"  
"Mix it up I certainly will, yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville"  
"-but wheneve Zecora comes into town, all the shops are mysteriously closed"  
"Oh, well I think we can help you with that"

The group was entering Ponyville when ponies cleared the streets and slammed their doors

Twilight went up to the flower shop  
The door opened a crack

"Daisy, we need to talk"

X

Rarity and Fluttershy swam in the bath, Pinkie and Psycho performing a double-cannonball from above, splashing water everywhere

The stallion went under, then surfaced as a weasel- Pinkie's tongue returning to normal as well

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, anyway- hope you got as much out of this situation as I did writing it. I'm sorry if I didn't add the "Friendship report" in there at the end, but I just thought this chapter was long enough (4,295)


	7. And I thought Flasher got the munchies

**"And I thought _Flasher_ got the munchies"**

Fawn watched the snoozing weasel, his hat pushed over his eyes and a still-smoldering cigarette hanging out of his mouth  
She quietly tip-hooved away from the couch he was sleeping on and towards a window

Staring up at the moon and stars that hung in the sky, she began to softly sing:

"Where have all the good ponies gone?  
And where are all the gods?  
Where's the street-wise Hercules  
To fight the rising odds?  
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery cart?  
Late at night I toss and turn and I dream of what's in my heart"

"I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the flight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life"

"Somewhere after midnight  
In my wildest fantasy  
Somewhere just beyond my reach  
There's somepony reaching back for me  
Racing on the thunder and going with the grooves  
It's gonna take a supercolt to sweep me off my hooves"

"Up where the mountains meet the heavens above  
Out where the lightning splits the sea  
I would swear that there's somepony somewhere  
Watching me"

"Through the wind and the chill and the rain  
And the storm and the flood  
I can feel his approach  
Like the fire in my blood"

After she finished, she trotted over to Wheezy and placed a small kiss on his nose  
"Goodnight Mr. Wheezy"

She walked upstairs to her own bed

X

The next day, the seven weasels were gathered in a small, two story hut they'd constructed haphazardly  
"Alright boys, we got our permit from the mayor" Smart Ass said, hanging a plaque on the wall "Now all we gotta do is get the word out"  
"You sure this is a good idea Boss?" Wheezy asked "I mean- after what happened last time..."  
"I know! I know- but we gotta whole 'nother chance at this thing, and we're gonna do it right"  
The other weasels shared a hesitant nod with each other  
"So- what do we do now?" Flasher asked  
"Just go and do what ever it is you do, and keep an eye out fer anything strange- then one of us'll call the others to come help; sound good?"  
They all nodded  
"Good, now git"

X

Psycho and Slimy were wandering around town when they saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders  
"Hi Slimy! Hi Psycho!" they chirped  
"Gah!" Slimy said, clutching his heart "Too...much...cuteness! Can't take it!"  
Psycho and the Crusaders giggled at his antics, then bombarded them with questions  
"Hey hey hey, slow down" He said "Now, one at a time"  
"What're you doing?" Scootaloo asked  
"We're on patrol" Slimy said proudly  
"So...y'all are just walkin' around?" Applebloom said  
"Essentially, 'yes'" Psycho answered  
"What're you doing that for?"  
"Looking for any signs of trouble"  
"Can we help you?"  
"Ah, no-"  
"But why not?" they all whined  
"Don't look into their eyes! They hypnotise!"  
Slimy and Psycho ran away as fast as they could- the energetic fillies following

Fawn, Wheezy, and Fluttershy were all in a field, trees and flowers in bloom- birds and insects buzzing around contentedly  
Fluttershy and Wheezy were collecting flowers in a basket that Fluttershy was carrying as Fawn played with the wildlife  
"Tell me again why we're pickin' flowers?" He asked  
She was about to answer her when a squirrel hopped up and tugged on Fluttershy's tail  
"Thank you little squirrel, remember, these are for Princess Celestia- only the best ones will do" She said gently  
The wind quickly blew all the seeds off of the dandelion, and the squirrel zipped off  
Wheezy and Fluttershy were about to pick more of the flowers when an odd sound came from behind a small rock and scared Fluttershy, she quickly flew behind a nearby basket of apples; spilling the basket of flowers and spreading them all over the ground.

A small insect about the size of Wheezy's fist popped out from behind the rock, its green eyes staring up at the weasel and the frightened pegasus.

"Hello little guy, I've never seen anything like you before" She said as the little bug flew around her  
It appeared to be inspecting a fallen apple  
"Oh, are you hungry?"  
Fluttershy squished the apple with her hoof, and presented it to the bug  
"Here you go"  
The bug flew towards the basket and devoured all of the apples inside, leaving a very confused Wheezy  
"One of these days- one of these days, I'm going to learn not to question these things" Wheezy said, pinching the bridge of his nose  
"I guess you were hungry" Fluttershy said, seemingly not suprised at the bug's appetite  
The creature buzzed around and snuggled in her mane  
"You're the cutest thing ever- I can't wait to show you to my friends" She said, trotting off  
Wheezy picked up the fallen basket, whistled for Fawn to follow, and both of them ran after Fluttershy

X

"Oh, hurry up Spike, this place isn't going to clean itself" Twilight said, hurrying around the library with a duster  
Spike grumbled as he stacked a few books  
"What's the hurry?" Smart Ass asked  
"Princess Celestia will be here tomorrow" Twilight responded  
"I thought this was just an unofficial casual visit" Spike said  
"Yeah, what's the big deal anyway? If she's your mentor or whatever, won't she mind a little mess?"  
"There's nothing 'casual' about a visit from royalty! I want this place to be spotless- and we've barely made a dent in the clutter"  
"Maybe...you should start reading them...one at a time" Spike said, struggling up the ladder with a stack of books  
He fell off and Smart Ass resisted the urge to laugh  
"Everything's got to be perfect, no time for fooling around"  
"You know, this would be an awful lot easier if there weren't three of us here getting under each other's feet" Spike said  
"Excuse me? I haven't moved from this spot" Smart Ass retorted  
Twilight turned back to Spike  
"Great idea, you two stay here and clean- and I'll go see how everyponyelse's preparations are coming"  
"Maybe I should-"  
Twilight was already out the door  
Spike and Smart Ass groaned

Twilight trotted down the street, checking to make sure all the decorations were in place  
She approached a banner that Carrot Top and Berry Punch were setting up, seeing the words 'Welcome Princess Celest'  
printed on it  
"What happened to the rest of her name?" Twilight asked  
"We couldn't fit it all in..."  
"You can't hang a banner that says 'Welcome Princess Celest'- take it down and try it again"

Twilight ran off and found Bon-Bon watering a bed of flowers  
"That looks perfect, keep up the good work"

Not long after, Twilight hit Sugarcube Corner- she walked inside and found Mr. and Mrs. Cake preparing as well  
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Cake, how's the banquet coming?"  
"It would be coming a little better if-"  
Pinkie popped out from behind the table and dove into a chocolate cake, and after finishing, had a whipped cream beard- which she ate  
"Pinkie, what are you doing? Those sweets are supposed to be for the princess!"  
"I know, but that's why I'm tasting them, somepony needs to make sure that everything is tasty enough to touch the royal tongue" She said, sticking out her own "and I, Pinkie Pie, declare these treats fit for a king- or a queen- or a princess!"  
Twilight was about to tell off Pinkie when Fluttershy hopped into the bakery  
"Twilight, Pinkie, you won't believe-"  
She stopped, then Fawn and Wheezy came into the bakery  
"Oh, I'm sorry, but- am I interrupting?"  
"No, not at all, come on in and make yourself at home" Pinkie said, swallowing a cake whole  
"I'm pretty sure she's a toon" Wheezy muttered to Fawn  
Fawn giggled  
"What's going on Fluttershy?"  
"You won't believe what I found at the edge of the Everfree forest, come on out little guy, it's okay"  
The bug poked out of her mane, then flew around the bakery- followed by two more, one yellow and the other brown  
"Three?" Fluttershy asked  
"They're amazing, what are they?" Twilight asked  
"I'm not sure, I'm also not sure where these other two came from"  
"I'll take one off your hooves" Twilight said "I've never seen something so adorable"  
Twilight noticed everypony watching and blushed  
"Besides, it'll be nice to have a companion for Spike so he won't bother me so much while I'm studying"  
"Pinkie, do you want the other one?"  
"Blegh- a parasprite, are you kidding?"  
"A parawhat?"  
"How could you not like-"  
"Ugh, now I gotta go find a trombone"  
'How can they have trombones? They have hooves!' Wheezy thought  
"A what?"  
"A trombone, you know" Pinkie said, making a trombone sound with her mouth and bouncing out of the bakery  
"Typical Pinkie" Twilight sighed  
'Typical?'

*Carousel Boutique*

"Hold still, chica" Greasy said, fixing the end of the dress  
"Yes, hold still Rainbow Dash" Rarity echoed, sewing into the dress  
"Ugh, I _caaan't_, I need to _flyyy_! This is waaay too boring for me" Rainbow whined  
"Do you want to look nice for Princess Celestia or not?"

"Wow. Rarity, those outfits are gorgeous" Twilight said, trotting into the boutique  
"Mmhmm. Thank you, Twilight. Nice to know _somepony_ appreciates my talents"  
Greasy rolled his eyes  
"Ugh, _sooo boooring_" Rainbow complained  
*Chirp*  
"Huh?"  
"What's that sound, Twilight?" Rainbow asked

Several more chirps were heard, and the three looked around the boutique to find out what could be causing it

"Wow, what are they?" Rainbow asked, seeing the parasprites  
"The better question is, where did they come from? I only had one a minute ago" Twilight said  
"Uh, I'll take one" she said  
"Me too, oh, they're perfect" Rarity gushed  
Pinkie and Psycho bounced into the boutique  
"Does anypony know where I can find an accordion?" she asked  
Psycho giggled at Rainbow, who was making baby noises at the parasprite

"Girls! Hello! This is important. Durgh! Thanks a lot" She said, leaving with Psycho in tow

"The decorations, the banquet, I really hope everything comes together in time for tomorrow" Twilight sighed

Spike and Smart Ass snored, Spike in his basket and the latter slumped on the table with a cup of coffee in his hands  
The parasprite made some small baby noises  
"Oh, *yawn*, what's there to worry about?"

"Spike! Smart Ass! Wake up! What happened?"  
"Huh? Whaaa! What's going on?" Spike asked, waking  
Smart Ass woke with a start and fell out of his seat  
"Huh? What's the matter, doll?"  
"Where did they come from?"  
"I don't know. The little guy got hungry in the night, so I gave him a snack, but... I have no idea where these others came from. Oh no! They're messing our all my hard work!"  
"I was asleep"  
"The princess will be here in a few hours" Twilight said worriedly  
"Ugh"  
"Spike, Smarty, help me round up these little guys"  
"Ugh, what does it look like I'm doin'? Ooow, waaah! D'oh. I know, I know, 'stop fooling around'"

Several of the parasprites chirped

"Huh? Huh?! *Screeech* Ugh! *Oooh* Get off me! ahhhh! ouch! Waaa!

"Not only are you adorable, but you're also quite useful" Rarity cooed  
The parasprite purred and grunted  
"Oh! Are you okay? Aaah! *Gasp* Eewww. Aaah! Gross gross gross! No creature that behaves so revoltingly is allowed in my boutique!  
The parasprite coughed up another one the size of itself Rarity screamed as they multiplied  
"Look Rarity, Applejack loaned me a harmonica" Pinkie said, playing the harmonica "Isn't that great?"  
The parasprites continued to chirp  
"*gasp* And not a moment too soon"  
"Ugh, Pinkie, Greasy and I are a little busy right now"  
"And I'm not? You know how many more instruments me and Psycho gotta find? A lot, that's how many! Now if we split the list between us, we might just make it in time"  
"Please, Pinkie, I don't have time for some silly scavenger hunt- I've got a real problem"  
"You've got a real problem alright! And a banjo is the only answer!"

Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow gasped  
"I see we're having the same problem"  
"Ditto!" Rainbow said  
"Fluttershy knows everything about animals, I'm sure she can tell us how to stop them from multiplying" Twilight said

*Chirp*

"...or not"  
"Ugh, do something Fluttershy, can't you control them?"  
"I've tried everything I know: I've tried begging, and pleading, and beseeching, and asking politely and..."  
"Guh"  
Twilight and Smart Ass ducked  
Somepony screamed  
"If we can't get them under control before the princess arrives, it'll be a total disaster" Twilight said  
One more parasprite multiplied

"Ew! If you ask me it's already a total disaster" Rarity responded  
"Here's all those apples you wanted, Fluttershy, but I still can't figure why y'need so many -HEY!"  
Applejack and Flasher were carrying baskets of apples  
"What do we do?" Fluttershy asked as Wheezy swatted away some parasprites from Fawn  
"*Gasp* I got it! No pony can herd like Applejack" Twilight said  
"Yeah! We can drive 'em back into the forest" Rainbow cheered  
"I'll rastle 'em up, but I need everypony's help to do it. Twilight, you, Smarty, Rarity, an Greasy wait over there. I'll herd the little critters straight at ya like a funnel, Rainbow Dash, you, Wheezy, and Fluttershy stay on top of 'em, don't let 'em fly away"  
"Aye aye" Rainbow saluted  
"Yeeeeeee-haw!"  
The parasprites screeched

"Alright y'all, here goes nothin'. Look out Rarity, that one's fixin' to get away. Keep a lead on 'em, Rainbow Dash. Hold on everypony, we're almost there"  
"Pinkie! Psycho!"  
"Twilight, we don't have much time" Pinkie said  
"You're telling me! The princess could arrive at any moment!"

"Exactly, that's why I need you gals to drop what you're doing and help us find some maracas"  
"Maracas? Pinkie, we've got much bigger problems than missing maracas"  
"*Gasp* You're right! Getting a tuba has to be our number one goal! Follow me"  
Everypony stayed put  
"I said, follow me!"  
"Pinkie Pie, you are so random"  
"And you are all so stubborn!"  
Psycho looked to Flasher, Smart Ass, Greasy, and Wheezy with pleading eyes  
"Forget 'em ladies, Focus- head 'em up and move 'em out"  
"All right!" Rainbow grunted"Ouch"

"Ah!" Wheezy shouted, shaking out his hand "Darn thing bit me"  
"We did it, nice work everypony"  
"Couldn't a'done it without y'all"  
"Now let's get back and clean up the mess they made before the princess arrives"  
"Okay, everypony knows what to do, right? We gotta work extra hard to make up for lost time" Twilight said

Fluttershy gasped  
"Where did they come from?"  
"Well, I may have kept just one. Heh. I couldn't help myself. They're just so cute" Fluttershy squeaked  
"Yeah, 'cute'" Wheezy said, keeping Fawn from being lifted off the ground by the parasprites  
"We don't have time to keep rounding up these things! What do we do now?"  
"We call in the weather patrol!"

Rarity shrieked  
"Time to take out the adorable trash, YAAAAAA!"  
*Chirp*  
"Way to go, Rainbow Dash!"  
"Looks like our problems are solved" Applejack said  
"They will be with these cymbals" Pinkie said, clashing some cymbals together

*Crash*  
*Crash*

"Hey! Give me those back!"  
"Whoa. Yaa! Yow! Woah! Wow! I can't hold it! She's breaking up"  
Psycho growled as the net broke apart  
"Pinkie Pie, Psycho, what have you done?"  
"I've lost a brand new pair of cymbals, that's what I've done"  
"Will you forget about your silly instruments for one second? You're ruining our efforts to save Ponyville"  
"Psycho! Knock it off!" Smart Ass shouted, helping Rainbow  
"Us? Ruin? We're not the ruiners, we're the ruin-ees! Or is it ruiness'? Ruinettes?"  
"Come on girls, there's no reasoning with those two, they're a few apples short of a bushel"  
"Hey! I'm trying to tell you all that the ruining is on the other hoof. If you just slow down and listen to us!"

Parasprites continued to chirp and munch on almost everything

Ponies gasped and ran from the hoard of parasprites  
"What do we do? They're eating all the food in town!" Twilight said  
"*Gasp* My apples!" Applejack cried  
"We've gotta do something. *Gasp* I got it! I'll cast a spell to make them stop eating all the food"  
"Can you even do that?"

"Look, tambourines! If you could all just..."  
Pinkie screamed and shook the tambourines

Twilight gasped as she finished the spell

*Chirp*  
"Whew"

*Munch*  
"Heh. Hey, it worked. They're not eating the food anymore" Rainbow said  
"Oh no... if they get inside my store... Everypony for herself!" Rarity cried  
"Caramba..." Greasy muttered, following her  
"My outfits! Go on, shoo! Get out of here, you naughty! Naughty! Eeeeek!"  
"I'll save you!" Pinkie said, playing a recorder  
"Eeek!"

"No woodland creature's gonna eat the Apple Family's crop!" Applejack shouted  
Parasprites buzzed around as she shooed them away  
Flasher was holding a frying pan and Slimy was weilding a mallet, bashing as many parasprites as possible  
"Brace yourselves, y'all, here they come, *Gasp* didn't see that one comin'"

"Help!" Spike shouted  
"*Gasp* They're eating the words!" Twilight grunted  
"Help..."  
"Ugh. Have you gone mad?" Zecora asked  
"No, but I think Pinkie and Psycho have" Smart Ass quipped, batting away the creatures with a pot  
"Zecora, these little guys are devouring Ponyville, and the princess is on her way. Can you help us, please?"  
"Oh, monster of so little size, is that a parasprite before my eyes?"  
"I don't know! Is it?"  
"Tales of crops and harvests consumed, if these creatures are in Ponyville, you're doomed" Zecora said  
"Just what I needed to hear right now" Smart Ass said, picking parasprites off of himself

"*Gulp*"

"Oh no, here she comes"

Ponies screamed as the parasprites continued to attack  
"Okay, here's the plan. Rainbow Dash, you distract them"  
"YAAAA!"  
"Good. Everypony else, we need to build an exact copy of Ponyville right over there"  
"We've got less than a minute. Zecora was right, we're doomed. Oh no, the princess's procession is here. It's all over!"

Pinkie and Psycho came down, playing polka music  
"I swear, I don't know what runs through his mind sometimes..." Smart Ass groaned  
"Pinkie? We're in the middle of a crisis here. This is no time for your... nonsense?"

"Look"  
"Twilight Sparkle, my prized pupil" Princess Celestia said  
"Hello, princess" Twilight said  
"So lovely to see you again, as well as your friends"

*Crash*

"So... how was the trip? Hit much traffic?"  
"Ah, what is this? Oh ho ho, these creatures are adorable" Celestia said, noticing the parasprites  
"They're not that adorable"  
A parasprite bit down on Stupid's ear and pulled  
"Ouch!"  
"I'm terribly honored that you and the good citizens of Ponyville have organized a parade in honor of my visit"  
"Parade? Oh. Yes, the parade"  
"Unfortunately, that visit is going to have to wait for another time. I'm afraid an emergency has come up in Fillydelphia. Apparently there's been some sort of infestation"  
"An... infestation?"  
"Yes, a swarm of incredibly bothersome creatures has invaded the poor town. I'm sorry Twilight, to have to put you all through so much trouble"  
"Trouble? What trouble?"  
"Before I have to go, would you care to give me your latest report on the magic of friendship?"

Wheezy covered his mouth and jabbed Flasher in the ribs to keep the both of them from having a laughing fit in front of Celestia

"My... report?"  
"Haven't you learned anything about friendship?"  
"Actually, I have. I've learned that sometimes the solution to your problems can come from where you least expect it. It's a good idea to stop and listen to your friends' opinions and perspectives..."

Pinkie's cymbals clashed together

"Even when they don't always seem to make sense"  
"I'm so proud of you, Twilight Sparkle, and I'm very impressed with your friends as well. It sounds like you're all learning so much from each other"  
"Thank you, princess"

"Hey, what happened to the princess?"  
"Emergency in Fillydelphia"

Flasher and Stupid lost it, rolling on the ground in laughter

"Some sort of infestation" Rainbow said  
"Oh no! Have they got parasprites too? Well, have tuba, will travel"  
"I think the princess can handle it"  
"So you knew what those critters were all along, huh Pinkie Pie?"  
"Well, DUH! Why do you think I was so frantic to get my hooves on all these instruments? I tried to tell you"  
"We know, Pinkie Pie, and we're sorry we didn't listen"  
"I'm sorry, Pinkie" Rainbow said  
"So sorry, Pinkie" Rarity said  
"Sorry, Pinkie" Fluttershy said  
"Real sorry, Pinkie" Applejack said  
"You're a great friend, even if we don't always understand you"  
"Thanks guys, you're all great friends too, even when I don't understand me" Pinkie said  
"You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia, and more importantly, you saved Ponyville"

"...Or not"

**A/N: The song at the beginning is 'Holding out for a hero' albeit with a few changed lyrics- thank you to AnonymousZGirl for her continued support in writing this, and next chapter should probably be out sometime next week.**


End file.
